7 Great mistakes to avoid to save your relationship. Is your Relationship really mature?

By - Abhudai Pal

“How enchanting it must be, to be in a RELATIONSHIP.” Said a single.

“I too thought the same before being committed”– A committed person. 

A relationship is the most enticing topic of discussion in a person's prime. Youth want to be in a RELATIONSHIP.

Don’t you?

Singles have the utopian vision of “RELATIONSHIP” while couples want to get rid of it.

The huge paradigm shift!!

Couples argue, My Partner is no more understanding as he/she was. My partner has no time left for me. He/She doesn’t love me anymore. He/She doesn’t go for a date as we used to go. He/She has no affection toward me.

Few Relationships convert into marriages, but many youths are committed. Fascinating! Before you are in a relationship, it seems a panacea. Once you are committed, you find ways to get rid of it deliberately.

Isn’t this thought-provoking? This implies that a significant number of youths are “HEARTBROKEN”?

Then how could their performance in life be at its peak?               

Our Team contemplated simplifying your life and give you reasons for relationship failure so you can avoid them. 7 crucial reasons why a relationship fails are:

1- Flawed definition of Relationship

The way a person defines anything tells a lot about him/her. The people who fail in a relationship must be believing in an unrealistic definition.

They must be defining a relationship as caring for each other obsessively, going on dates weekly or daily, talking 24*7 a priority, replying to messages instantly, expecting their partner to do something new every day to make me happy, appreciate me, compliment me, etc.

If an individual definition of relationship is similar to this. The pillar of RELATIONSHIPS is built on loose sand. If the castle is built on such a fragile base, it devastates a person emotionally when the unrealistic definition doesn't meet.

2- Invalid Expectations

Treat me like a princess/prince. Take me to a new place on every date. Make me laugh. Make me your priority. Surprise me with gifts frequently. Be soft and kind-hearted to me. Feed my Ego. Never talk to me in a raised voice.

Don’t you consider them as Invalid Expectations? 

A relationship must be based on TRUST, COMPATIBILITY, SATISFACTION, and Unconditional Love.  

3- Communication Gap

Many youths expect their partners to understand them and behave accordingly, i.e., avoid all those habits they don’t like. I wonder if their partner is GOD, who understands what goes in another person's mind?

He/She is a human, and if you aren’t okay with certain habits of your partner. Then tell them explicitly, address them. Not talking about it and allowing the volcano brew in your mind will definitely lead to an eruption popularly known as “BREAK-UP.” You may lose a beautiful relationship because of communication GAP.

4- Purpose of RELATIONSHIP

Be very precise about your purpose. Do you want it for “EMOTIONAL SUPPORT” or just to have fun with an individual of the opposite sex?

 Well, if you have plenty of money and you are willing to be a driver of someone, that is also okay, or if you love to EAT on someone else money, that too is fine.  Make sure you tell your partner the purpose of your “RELATIONSHIP.” So no heart will ache post Relationship.

5- Setting boundaries with the opposite sex.

This is a major reason for a relationship to be broken. You feel erupted if your partner touches your friend inappropriately as per you. Sometimes, a mere handshake leads to an end of all memories, which is tragic. 

To avoid this, set boundaries for your partner, telling them, "I cannot control my emotions if you cross this limit." If you tell them with affection, I assure you that he/she will abide by you and will respect your possessiveness.

6- SEX

Yes, SEX. If the sole motive of you to be in a RELATIONSHIP is sex. Your relationship will definitely wither. 

How long could you handle or bear someone for satisfying your lust? When no emotional connection ever existed between both of you.

Remember, “SEX is merely a subset of RELATIONSHIP,” not a whole set within itself.

7- Suspicion.

Suspicion is a result of TRUST DEFICIT. If your partner talks with someone, thoughts in your mind rises like, She/he must be talking about me? Is he/she planning to dump me? These thoughts are testimonials of the trust deficit in your Relationship.

Really, How insecure are you?

You lack self-confidence. You think He/She will leave me if found better. You lack a basic understanding of “RELATIONSHIP.” You forget no one is perfect. If she/he has chosen you, he/she accepts you the way you are, although improvement is always expected.

If your RELATIONSHIP satisfies the above 7 parameters, it’s IMMATURE.

MATURE relationship roots find a place in one of the 4 chambers of the human heart. Its EXPECTATIONS are valid, and don’t expect their partner to be SUPERMAN/SUPERWOMAN. They embrace each other without any comparison.

MATURE RELATIONSHIPS are independent of “HEIGHT, WEIGHT, FIGURE, SALARY, SKIN TONE, HAIRSTYLE, MACHONESS, and other ostentatious parameters.

Mature RELATIONSHIP  encourages you, supports you emotionally, understands you, Listens to you, assists you in achieving your dream, make life more peaceful, have healthy fights, cuddles with you, and had sex too(They don’t practice celibacy).

MATURE relationships strengthen with every passing day; mature relationships are like compound interest, which grows daily, while immature relationship taxes you daily.

PRACTICAL WISDOM:

1- Mature relationship expectations are realistic.

2- Mature relationship knows you are "Imperfect in your unique way."

3- Immature relationships are the result of razzmatazz parameters.

4- Immature relationships suck the privacy of your life and intrude in space, which makes you uncomfortable.

5- Mature relationship takes time to develop, while an immature relationship exists in every chat between the opposite sex.

Pic Courtesy - Unsplash