Your parents can kill you!! The mistake India's youth should never-ever dare to commit.

By - Abhudai Pal 

“Ek Tha Raja, Ek Thi Rani, Dono Mar Gaye Khatm Kahani,” Said Kizzie Basu in the movie “Dil Bechara”. 

Kizzie Basu 

I disagree with Kizzie. Because, In India, that's not how love stories end.

The endings are, “Ek Tha Raja, Ek Thi Rani, Dono Ki Caste/Religion Different The, Parents Ne Mar Kar, Khatm Kar Di Kahani”. 

NCRB and National Topper 

The National Crime Record Bureau (NCRB) reported that in 2014, 2015, and 2016, the cases of honor killing were 28, 251, and 77 respectively. From 2014 to 2015, the honor killing risen by 796%. 

What do you think, which state tops in this shameful category of killing his own child because he/she wants to marry/married a person of his/her choice? Uttar Pradesh topped here.   

Parent Consent and Honor Killing 

I do think that a parent consent should be taken before marrying. Either they will agree or disagree. But you should deliberately bring your parents on board while marrying your love and convince them. They might warn you of the future consequences, and social ostracisation, that is a different thing. 

But you must take their blessing before starting your second life, irrespective of their opinion.

To be honest, what are the valid expectations of parents from their kid’s partner? A decent job, financial security, non-criminal character, good-family, etc. They don’t expect a Bradd Pitt or Angelina Joli!

And if you fulfill these minimum requirements, then they don't have reasonable arguments to not support you in marrying the person of your choice.

Except, the major hurdle of caste/creed/religion/gotra. This hurdle induces parents to murder their own child, under the crime of love.

Patriarchal Mindset and Honor Killing

The reason why many parents kill their own children, in the name of honor, is an invisible ghost called “Society/Samaj”. I always wonder about the strength of this ghost which compels people to kill their own child. 

The power of this ghost is superior to the power of the President of the United States of America(USA). After all, no one will kill his/her children under the pressure of the USA President.

Whereas, under the pressure of this ghost, people kill their own mature child. A family raising its child to murder it!! Seems like a psycho story. But, this is reality. 

The haters of love

This happens because, for generations, An unsaid rule of land operates, binding a  father with the responsibility of marrying his children.

While, if a child decides to marry his/her chosen person he does two things unconsciously. First, He/She challenges the old system, which gave the sole right to a father to dictate his mature child to marry the person only of his choice. To put it more explicitly, the father decides with whom his mature child will sleep/have sex with for the rest of his/her life. 

Second, he/she implicitly tells his father, "I am mature enough and have chosen my life partner". Which when translated by a person who still lives in the old system as  “You won’t decide with whom I will live my rest of life. I  don’t need your blessing and approval”.  Whereas, the kid has said nothing about the “Blessing and Approval”! 

Committing a grave mistake of not adhering to the regressive standards of society and challenging the ghost leads to murder in the name of honor.

Society’s Reward if your parents agree to your choice 

By constant cajoling, If your parents agree with your partner’s choice irrespective of caste/religion. Then, your parents had to face the ostracization of society. They will be taunted and had to listen to things like, “They can’t keep their child under control”, “Stay away from our children, as they might get bad influence” etc. 

Facing them requires the stability of mind and character, which great men like Buddha, Kabir, Rumi, Lincoln possessed. Thus, the cost they might pay for agreeing to your choice will be severe mental trauma because facing such flak does torments a person. 

So, before you gave long speeches to your parents on your right to marry, be more mature and understand from their point of view too. And if you can avoid the above “societal reward” for your parents. Then, I must say you as well as your parents are living in a rational, inclusive, open-minded, and progressive society. 

Else, give your societal position a thought. 

Indian Constitution and Your right to Marry 

The constitution of India allows Indians, who have attained a minimum legal age to marry the person of his/her choice, who may or may not belong to his/her caste/creed/color/religion.  Your “Right to life and Choice” is guaranteed by Article -21 of the Indian Constitution.  

Know your right

If the Indian constitution doesn’t restrict you to marry.  What factor poses threat to the social acceptance of such marriage? The threat is that the society is unconsciously abiding by the insane laws of “Manusmriti”, which doesn't accept the marriages of different caste, then forget about religion! 

The followers of such disgusting laws are the greatest hindrance to your constitutional rights. The choice is yours. Be a constitutional follower, and vehemently advocate for your right to marry the person of your choice or a Manusmriti follower!

Science and Same Caste/Creed/Religion Marriage

According to leading research journals, periodicals worldwide. Scientists came to the conclusion that endogamy i.e. the practice of marrying someone of the same caste/creed/religion lead to genetic recession. 

In simple words, if a particular caste/creed/religion people carry a certain disease in different degrees then if people of the same disease will marry then their offspring will inherit that disease more visibly. In biological terms, the dormant character in parents becomes dominant in offspring. 

Thus, the same caste/creed marriage leads to a more unhealthy population. And an unhealthy population can’t be productive. Thus, science promotes marriages outside a person's community.

Falling in Love to marry and My opinion

Living my life following the Indian Constitution. I strongly advocate your right to marry a person of your choice in the presence/absence of your parent's blessing. 

But, considering the gift of death, Babli and Manoj (same caste), Shankar(SC), and Kaushalya (OBC) received from society for loving someone and then marrying him/her shudders me. 

A couple killed for loving and marrying

Neither I dare to fall in love, nor I will recommend anyone.  My recommendation and opinion have succeeded, the murderers of Babli and Manoj. The message they conveyed for India's youth by killing Shankar and Kaushalaya is that never-ever dare to fall in love and marry against your parent's wish, else you will be dead. 

If love can cost life, then better to stay alive!

Finally, with this, I would say if ever my/your heart beats for any lady/gentleman and sings romantically, “Tere Naam Ki Koi Dhadak Hain Na”. I (You) should remind myself (yourself) of the ending of the movie "Dhadak". The ending scene should suffice my (your) heart to crumble, imagining the "societal incentive" (death) of falling in love. 

I will make sure that none of my generation peers fall into the trap of loving and marrying. After all, In India During COVID, a famous man said, "Jaan Hain Toh Jahan Hain"!!